Back of the Pack Racer Profiles

The Back of the Pack Experience: 24 Hour Solo Single Speed.
We are a team. But we don't do hand offs, baton tosses, high fives or group hugs. 

When the Lt Col speaks - we are all confused


The Judd: THE Founding Father
aka: The Judd, Doctor of Philosophy
The Founder, The Leader, The Philosofizer, The Hustorian, The Chick Magnet

The Judd conveniently arrived in this world as The Brother of Tedd. The rest is....chaos. Judd spends his days dreaming of...things. He has a job, a good job. Many people don't know what he does, hell Judd can't even explain what he does. (Or should we say - won't.) When in comes to bike racing Judd will do anything to avoid the dead last position. This usually results in one of the B.P.R. members being thrown 'under the bus' by The Judd. Yes, Judd is the biggest, baddest, meanest MOFO west of the Mississippi. The Judd would sell his own mother for some spare titanium. Only one problem: Judd's dad, The Padre, is the biggest, baddest, meanest dude west of the Maginot Line. But The Padre is getting up there in years, so The Madre better watch out.

The Judd is the B.P.R. Team Leader, The Judd is a Philosofizer, The Judd is a Hustorian. These FACTS cannot and will not be debated. The Judd is a Chick Magnet. This fact is often debated. Usually debated in global internet sociological study groups. Women simply can't resist The Judd....until The Judd opens his mouth and starts Philosofizing. Once the Philosfizing starts, The Judd usually finds himself alone, like in minutes.

The Judd's leadership capabilities are often tested by the B.P.R. Team. Why? How? Well, the team can't be led. Back of the Pack is a team of individuals. Each individual has his own agenda. Each individual is skilled in the use of the two words "Screw You". So, leadership takes the back seat to Philosofizing and Psycologizing.

Someday The Judd will reign in the racers, someday Back of the Pack will challenge the big teams - the teams with all the money and all the babes. Until then the B.P.R. Philosofizer will moonlight as the B.P.R. Hustorian and continue to bring the B.P.R fan club great race reviews and honest soliloguies.


The Lt Col: A Founding Father
aka: The Back of the Pack Elder Statesman

The Lt Col is only motivated by 3 things: 1) titanium, 2) breakfast burritos, 3) porcelain. The Lt Col holds the Back of the Pack 24 hour breakfast burrito record, the record is 17 Golden Pride breakfast burritos integrated into a 160 mile ride at 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo.

There are a few other little known facts about the Lt Col. 1) He has only 19 digits. Where is the 10th toe? Somewhere in the Colorado highlands. 2) The Lt Col is a world class pilot. The Lt Col flies the most sophisticated aircraft in the world. But The Lt Col is no navigator. History shows that if The Lt Col is in the lead he will always turn right when required to turn left, he will always turn left when required to turn right. It's amazing The Lt Col can find his car in the parking lot after a long flight test. Simply put, The Lt Col has no idea where he is and no idea where he is going. 

The Lt Col is the B.P.R. Elder Statesman. Why this title. Don't know, it just makes sense. The dude is old, but not ancient, yet. And the younger B.P.R. members always look up to The Lt Col. Why? Because he is like 6' 3". No other reason.


The Morale Chairman: A Founding Father
aka: The TeddNeck, The Back of the Pack Morale Chairman

Tedd, The Brother of The Judd. What should we say about Tedd?Do we need to say anything? Look at this picture. Scan through the B.P.R. blog. This dude is scary. Hell, I'm scared writing this bio. I wonder what goes through his head. Maybe nothing. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe his head is chilled to 2 deg Kelvin. Maybe there's simply nothing going on up there.

Tedd is a man of few words and fewer miles. Tedd doesn't believe in training. He doesn't believe in bike riding between bike races. Tedd simply moth balls the titanium beast and waits for the next 24 Hour race. Tedd's training (lack of) philosophy is very effective for 24 hour races. He believes in achieving absolute pain as early as possible, thus he implements a steady state pain management solution. Not a bad idea - for dudes as scary as Tedd.

At times Tedd will sign up for a 'sprint'. (A sprint in B.P.R. terms is any race between 50 and 100 miles.) Tedd's training philosophy doesn't support sprint racing. Therefore Tedd turns his energy towards prayer. Recall, the Back of the Pack motto is "Dead Last Doesn't Mean Loser: Unless There Are No DNFs". Well, Tedd prays - he prays that there are a few DNFs. Because, no one want's to be a loser.

Tedd's role in Back of the Pack Racing is simple. Tedd is the B.P.R. Morale Chairman. I don't need to explain this - just look at the picture. Enough said.


aka: Prob-eee, The F'n Hippie

First things first. The B.P.R. Founding Members (The Judd, The Lt Col, The Morale Chairman) have no idea who Prob-eee is. So, Prob-eee's profile is time varying, which means his profile is not time invariant. The B.P.R. Founding Members are so confused by the processes instituted by Prob-eee, that Prob-eee is himself defined as a stochastic process. To use basic english  - Prob-eee is a radical, Prob-eee is an unknown, Prob-eee is Prob-eee.

Prob-eee is not a B.P.R. groupie. Why? Because, Prob-eee rides a rigid single speed. Thus, The B.P.R. Founding Members have opened up the circle of life, just a bit, and offered to educate Prob-eee on the world of single speed riding - Back of the Pack style -> like Old Style. Although Prob-eee is part of the group, Prob-eee is just a probationary member of Back of the Pack. There are many, many steps one must take to reach full membership in Back of the Pack Racing. Want to know more? Check out the Back of the Pack Operating Instructions.

Aside from Prob-eee's probationary status, there are a few things you should know about Prob-eee. Many wouldn't think twice about these Prob-eee-istics (Prob-eee's Characteristics). But the B.P.R. Founding Members are concerned and convene on a weekly basis to discuss Prob-eee and assign damage control duties.

  1. Prob-eee likes to sleep during races. Bad idea
  2. Prob-eee likes soccer and likes to talk about soccer. Bad idea
  3. Prob-eee like wine, buys wine, drinks wine and usually wants people to drink wine with him. Bad idea. (Chardonnay and White Zinfandel are Prob-eee favorites. Gross!)
  4. Prob-eee likes to share food."Hey Philosofizer, you getting a donut? Want to share?" "Hey Hustorian, you getting desert? Can I have a bite?" Bad idea. NO ONE touches The Judd's food.
  5. Prob-eee has a problem with public admission of wussiness. "Man, I'm a wuss, I won't get in the pool unless the water temperature is at least 90 deg." Bad idea.
In the end, Prob-eee-stics could be locked away in the 'closet of long forgottens'. Prob-eee could elevate his B.P.R. membership to Associate Member by forking down cash on a custom titanium single speed - fully rigid, of course. Or Prob-eee could ascend to full B.P.R. membership by making the transformational step towards a Black Sheep single speed - fully rigid. The B.P.R. Founding Members really don't care. It's always good for a team to have a Prob-eee. Without Prob-eee The Lt Col and The Morale Chairman would focus all attention on The Philosofizer. This is not good for The Philosphizer. Thus, Prob-eee is good for B.P.R.

And just in case you want a personal experience with Prob-eee.... check out Prob-eee, the soccer fan, in the link (video) below.

The Galaxy Soccer Fan, Prob-eee


The Mad Rhino: Founding Father of BPR AZ Chapter
aka: The Den Mother, Mad Rhino - Like Mad Cow, Mr List

Rhino (Official B.P.R. Terminology yet to be discussed by The Founding Fathers) is the Arizona crew leader of Back of the Pack Racing.

Rhino is crazy. Like Mad Rhino = Mad Cow crazy. But that's cool. All Back of the Pack Racers must have a loose screw, or two.

Mad Rhino is a single speed freak that lives life via The List. We are not yet sure what that list is (or what the lists are), but Mad Rhino has a list for everything. Hell, his day is mapped out in five minute intervals. No joke, jokester.

And The Den Mother, with all of Mad Rhino's Lists, figures out a way to look after The Founding Fathers. If The Founding Fathers forget something - no problem. The Den Mother is there with a solution and a hug. OK. No hugs, yet. But Prob-eee will be asking for one, soon!

Mad Rhino entered the Back of the Pack ranks as a Probationary Member. But Rhino quickly qualified for a field promotion - nominated by The Morale Chairman. The Founding Fathers have yet to discuss the issue. But a nomination by a Founding Father is as good as gold. Maybe.

There is not much else to say about Mad Rhino. We will get more dirt on this dude as time goes on. Yep, the NM B.P.R. Crew and the AZ B.P.R. Crew have many crazy things planned for the near future. More info will be documented as Rhino adds his own flavor to the B.P.R. Ludacracy. Chances are that Mad Rhino Ludacracy is already documented on a list or two.