Saturday, October 27, 2012

Race Review: Zuni 100... or something like that

The 2012 edition of the Zuni Mountain 100. Yep, different year, same story. This is the 5th time that we've dominated the Zuni Mountain 100...from the Back of the Pack. And 'domination' is defined by my own personal reality. NOT YOURS!

In classic Back of the Pack fashion us Founding Fathers had grand visions of completing the entire 100. Yes, it's the 5th time we had these grand visions. And it's the 5th time that our plan was reevaluated - at a Trailside Edition of the B.P.R. Supreme Council. But this time, the 1st time, I'll take the blame for derailing the day of riding. 

I've been busted up for about 5 weeks. Broken tailbone,fixie crash at work, destroyed shoulder, phatbike fixie crash, and one wicked back injury, Crossfit induced. Well, just when I thought my body was ready to go... I jacked up my back loading the B.P.R. Pinto. The pain went exponential when I was horizontal in the Demon Shed at the Zuni Mtn 100 / McGaffey Race Headquarters. (More Later).

So, I pushed back the 3AM start - a secret starting time for us phat dudes - to 6AM. Then I cancelled my ride at 6:20. Then I was back in the ride at 6:40. (I get bored easily - especially when I'm horizontal.) So, the Founding Fathers finally rolled out of camp around 7:20 with a new plan of 50 miles. It became apparent at mile 10 that I wouldn't make it. I struggled to make it to mile 25. Then during theTrailside B.P.R. Supreme Council mtg I announcement my status as 'dropped'. Well, that destroyed all motivation of the Founding Fathers - so we all cruised back to the Race HQ and the comfort of the Pink Futon

That's it. Another classic weekend that will be placed in the category of...  'The Lt Col's Farewell Tour'.

now the real story.... the highlights:
  • Recovery Drink: us dudes, The Founding Fathers, were chillin' on the Pink Futon and enjoying a few brews. Or more than a few. Then The Morale Chairman noticed a dude mixing an OFFICIAL recovery drink. The dude put down the recovery drink.... then proceeded to puke it all out. That's when we all decided that a few brews, or more, provides the ULTIMATE RECOVERY.  Seriously, when did you last puke after a couple of recovery brews? 
  • 3AM Demons: I often talk about the 3AM and 4AM demons that lurk at 24 hour races. Well, at the Zuni 100, I was attacked by real life (?) demons at 3AM - while 'sleeping' in the Demon Shed. No Joke, Jokester. Just ask The Morale Chairman. He beat the demons off this Phat Dude. And yes, this happened once before. Memorial Day, 1995, I was on a canoe trip in northern Michigan. I fell asleep wearing a Danzig t-shirt.  And of course, the t-shirt had crazy demonic script - Danzig style - on the back. Next thing I know, I was attacked by demons at 3AM. Again, no joke jokester. The Lesson Learned: be ready for battle, even at 3AM.
  • The Feast of All Feasts: if you've never been to the Zuni Mtn 100 and the Feast of all Feast put on by the Gallup Dudes and Dudettes... then you gotta go. That's all I'm saying. THE GREATEST post race party filled with food, booze, bands and LUDACRACY. The 'race' fills up fast, so sign up in early 2013. http://nmes.wordpress.com/events/zuni-mountain-100/
  • The non Alcohol Home Brew Competition: there was a weird twist in the 2012 Gallup Home Brew competition at the Zuni Mtn 100. We didn't see anyone puke, no one got really stupid, and everyone was chipper in the AM. I wonder if I cracked the secret... I'm thinking the home brew competition was really an ALCOHOL FREE event. Seriously.
  • Old Man Ludacracy: many 'serious' people think we just 'f' around at the Back of the Pack. Well, not this time. On Race Night we were out... at 9PM. The Lt Col led the charge to the sleeping bags. Something about 'I was working til 4AM this morning'. (Whatever, like The Lt Col works. He just flies alien spacecraft... one a month. Go to 1:56 in the attached video / link.) Then after the race we were horizontal at 8:30AM. Seriously. Some times enough is enough. Especially when the FREE BEER seems to be ALCOHOL FREE. Wait a second. 8:30PM bedtime? Free Beer? Alcohol Free. Something doesn't add up.
Quote(s) of the 'Race':
  • The Lt Col: Has The TeddNeck stood up once this ride?
  • The TeddNeck: Has the Lt Col sat down once this ride?
Confused? Well, roll at the Back of the Pack next time and you'll laugh just like me.

The Summary of the Summary:
The blogging, The B.P.R. Historian documenting the Alternate Reality, slowed WAY DOWN over the past few months. There is always a rational reason. I started a new job, then I quit a new job. So now I'm back to the old job.... psuedo retirement thanks to all the taxpayers in the great USA. Yep, life is back to normal. And once my phatness is dealt with appropriately, via massive miles on the sheep, then I'll be ready to dominate the trails and the blog-o-sphere... at the front of the Back of the Pack, of course.

What's Next?
  • 25 Hours of Frog Hollow. Nov 3rd / 4th, Hurricane Utah
  • End of the World Bikepacking Trip. Dec 19th... til the End of the World, Chaco Canyon
  • Super Secret Snowbike Race... at the Back of the Pack. late December, Colorado
  • Arrowhead 135. January 28th / 29th - northern Minnesota. 

The Perfect Dale's Pale Ale Advertisement?
The Founding Fathers pounding Dale's... on the Pink Futon
A random dude stripping down to his 'bikini' briefs... and beyond
A random dude lounging with an IV in his arm. NO S*^T... seriously!
And The Judd with a Camera


AND if you are really bored... NOTHING in the world to do... here is a video. 
This may be my last video production. I'm getting bored with boring you. Well, maybe we will start filming some wicked AERIALS @ the Back of the Pack.



just the trail - the trail less traveled at the Back of the Pack

just the profile



some pics.... just because:

this is how we roll, when no 'sheep trailer is in tow


phatness, seriously

this is how The Founding Fathers hang.. when no adult supervision is around


just a view of New Mexico - of a New Mexican doing New Mexican things



the Demon Shed... because the 'old dudes' got cold

 the start... before the finish

ugly phatness

turning the cranks.... standing or sitting.... it all works

just a break... not much going on at the Back of the Pack

moving again


headed back to Base Camp

ah, paradise

time to head back to REALITY

just another pic of Sir Phatness


for some reason.... I just wanna be an engineer... on a train


Time to Get Slightly Stoopid