The mind is a powerful tool. The mind is an Evil Weapon. The mind can save you. The mind can destroy you.
At times the pain & suffering is all in your head. Sometimes it's not. As a single speed freak that thrives on 24 hr solo races - it's hard to know the difference.
Our end-to-end attempt on the Colorado Trail (unsupported = CTR ITT) ended in total failure. Physical issues? Mental Issues? Who knows. Maybe I'll go to the Dr and gather more data. Maybe I won't.
Anyway, I entered the adventure under the weather. I felt 'weird' for a few days leading up to the ride. But I'm tough, I'd survive. Well, all I know is that my body completely broke down around mile 17. I spend the next 40 miles suffering AND trying to convince myself that I am the biggest wimp, wuss, loser in the world. Maybe I am.
I almost had myself convinced that 'The Condition' was a mental condition that would soon go away. Then we headed out of Bailey on FSR 109 and up Hwy 285. It became apparent that my legs couldn't turn over the cranks. Yes, I was rolling a 32x20 and that hurts on a fully loaded bike. But, I was done, the pain wasn't normal. My physical condition was clearly not ALL mental. (Maybe.) So, we turned around and headed back to Bailey. Just to think it over before we hit the high altitude trails.
The Morale Chairman discussed my symptoms with The Madre. (I had no desire to text away due to my personal battle with The Demons that sensed my weakness and were forging a full on assault.) The Madre was freaked out to say the least. She convinced me that I was one bad decision away from a long vacation - a vacation 6 ft under. So I called it. Game Over.
Time will tell what really happened. I have a serious phobia of Drs - because I don't trust those pill pushing freaks. (Ok, they aren't all freaks - but I rarely find that time in a Drs office is time well spent.) And I have some major physicals coming up - required for work duties. So I'll find out sooner or later if it was a low grade fever / flu that blew up due to single speed induced pain on the CT or if it is some major issue.
Well, life's rough. The correct plan was to delay our start by a week... yep, history says we should've delayed the start until I felt 100%. But it's not always that easy for us middle aged dudes. We are owned by The Man (or The Woman) aka The Job. So it was a now or never situation. Ok. It was a now or next year situation. And I'm not a patient person.
The only guarantee right now is that The Morale Chairman & I will return to the CT, like soon. And we will give the CTR ITT a go in 2012. I plan to start ~ 5 days before the super freak racers. It will be a blast to watch them fly by in the high altitude segments near / around / after Lake City / Hwy 149.
And for Fun - Participate in the Quitters Quit Poll: