Sunday, December 12, 2010

Obesity: Back of the Pack Style

Obesity? Why kind of blog posting could this be?

Well, I'm talking about FAT not PHAT! I've been certified as "obese" before, so I know what I'm talking about. And you, the B.P.R. fan, are probably battling private weight problems too. Yeah, we all struggle with weight problems. Some humanoids are too heavy, some humanoids are too light. Very few humanoids are just right.

The Lt Col is 'just right' says The Foxy Mama1. Yeah, we puke every time she starts to brag about how PERFECT the Lt Col is. S*^T, I'm gagging as I write this!

But reality is what we live in. We can't all be the 'Diet Coke Guy'. But we can all commit to: a healthy lifestyle, to be physically fit, to look good in spandex, to look good in a Speedo. Ok, I'm losing it. Actually, I've lost it.

Anyway, a short history.

Back in the day I gave up mountain biking for..... a life of studies. Yep, I went to college and was unable to ride killer trails. So I started to lift weights, pound the iron. This skinny little runt turned into a larger then life beast. (Not really.)  Years and years of college corrupted my mind, I couldn't recapture the biking addiction. I fell into a golfing addiction and the weight lifting addiction. That was life. I was one mean bloated machine.

THEN in 2000 I went on a business trip to the deep Pacific, a small island in the middle of the ocean. We'll call it Kwajalein. On the way back there was a near disaster. The engines on the 737 went quiet and the plane went into a nose dive. We were dead, so we thought. But the engines came back to life, the aircraft stabilized, we survived. SO in 2001 I was sent back to the island. I was convinced I would die in a plane crash. Just because. So my plan was to load up on life insurance. At least my family would get a boatload of cash when I met my maker - while auguring into the Pacific. BUT the f'n insurance company declared me 'obese' and said they couldn't insure me. Obese? Uninsurable? Yeah, I was 6'1" and 230 lbs, but I was a man of muscle, not a man of fat. Well, rules are rules. The Judd was obese.

10 years later. The Judd is still obese, by definition. Yeah, my weight goes all over the place. I've been down to 208, up to 230, down to 199, up to 210. It all depends on what I do. Like I care! OH WAIT, I DO CARE!

What does an SS fanatic do on a Sunday? 
Cut the ride short and go eat Cheeseburgers!

So now that I'm addicted to ultra endurance single speed action I'm ready to commit to a healthy lifestyle, not a lifestyle constrained by 'obesity'. I'm taking all the steps to bust through the 200 lbs barrier. I must! I need to be a lean mean fighting machine prior to 24 Hours in the Old Pueblo. My predicted domination over the B.P.R. crew is public. So I must deliver.

What is my plan? Simple.
  • Eat right - eliminate Cheetos and Golden Pride Breakfast Burritos. 
  • Drink right - don't go crazy with the Modus Hoperandi, Dale's Pale Ale, Marble IPA. 
  • Ride right - put in the miles. 
  • Workout right - focus on the Crossfit routine, don't turn the workout into a Modus fueled garage party
  • AND make my personal battle against obesity public. Peer pressure rules us all!
So, it's public. I purchased a WiFi enabled scale. The weigh-ins are automatically imported to the blog. Check out the info on the left. We will see. Will I be successful? S*^T! Have I failed at anything in my life? Nope! (Ok, Ok. We aren't going to discuss relationships with Foxy Mamas.)


BPR Battle Against Obesity from Judd Rohwer on Vimeo.
The Public Battle. The Judd against The Cheetos!

By the way. Isn't it super dangerous for us obese dudes to race? Shouldn't race organizers be worried, just a bit? Talk about liability. There should be a weigh in, a Fat % measurement, the BMI calculation. This is serious stuff. The race organizers & insurance companies are accepting a huge risk by allowing us obese monsters to do this crazy stuff - to race for 24 hours!

It's difficult to suck in the gut when you're tired and it's 14 hours into a 24 hour race

It's best to just hide the gut if you know that a photographer is nearby


6 comments:

  1. With the exception of the wi-fi scale, I am in! Dang I hate this cold weather weight...ok, it started in May. By El Pueblo? I will try. I got 13 to lose. Winner gets beer, cheetos, and a burrito. See you in Tucson!

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  2. Is this Tony Horton's new website?

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  3. Hey Rhino. Tony Horton? Sounds about right. I'm pulling out all the stops, by making my training strategy & stats public, I'm confident The Lt Col will roll into Old Pueblo with a blankie, a pillow, and the subconscious desire to cuddle up with Prob-eee during the night laps. The Lt Col is on record stating that he plans to take it easy until Jan, hit Crossfit hard until mid Jan, then start putting in the miles for Old Pueblo. Yeah, The Lt Col might as well work on his burrito eating strategy because he has zero chance to bring home the B.P.R. Glory.

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  4. Donna. I pretty sure that the winner will only get the beer and cheetos. The Lt Col will eat all the burritos. Actually his sister and brother-in-law will be there, so the beer may be ancient history after 3am. That's a prediction.

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  5. i would hardly call you obese, but I applaud your efforts. Crossfit is awesome, thought the last 6 weeks I have been doing INSANITY 60 day challenge. (while ernesto has been doing lights) It is a quicker route to weight loss than crossfit, if that is what you are going for.....i dont own a scale and dont really think i have lost weight, but i am more toned. give it a try

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  6. Hey Cindy. I'll be serious - for once, but only this time. This whole obesity thing is a product of my trip to CA 2 weeks ago. I saw this WiFi enabled scale selected as 'one of the coolest 100 products' for the Christmas season. Light Bulb went on: perfect way to entertain the core crowd during the off-season. INSANITY sounds nuts. I'll look into it. Crossfit is great, in a stupid way. I pack on a 'boatload' of weight during my Crossfit winters. Thus I will never break 200 if I stick with Crossfit. Maybe I'll join Prob-eee at the yoga sessions, wearing short shorts and shoe string tank tops while rubbing elbows with dirty, hairy, stinky old men sounds fun. Plus I hear that hippie women got it going on!

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