Sunday, September 12, 2010

The Judd -> Headed to New Zealand? Of Course!

The decision was made, the trip plans finalized, the credit card....not charged... and the mind was changed.

Then I changed my mind again - for the 1000th time.

I had planned am now ready to embark on a trip of utter irresponsibility; head to the Single Speed World Championships - 2010 in Rotorua, New Zealand. But I woke up a day ago and said - no way Jose. Traveling 7500 miles to consume killer beer with killer dudes / dudettes during a killer single speed experience seemed like a great thing to do, it seemed like the right thing to do. But reality always hits me - directly in the face. And then it hits me again, directly in the face AND below the belt!


So here is the breakdown on the decision to go, then the decision not to go, then the decision to go!

Why would The Judd travel to New Zealand...for a bike race or 2?
  1. Wants to, therefore should, therefore will!
  2. Needs a vacation
  3. Tired of work, tired of working, tired of contributing to society
  4. Must dominate the Whaka 100! I will train hard to be the fastest dude from NEW MEXICO. (Shouldn't be hard, I don't know of any other dude / dudette from New Mexico that plans to race in the Whaka 100. I do know that Lenny Goodell plans to race in the SSWC10. That's cool! Lenny and Claudia are cool!)
The Pros:
  1. Opportunity to 'enlist' killer New Zealand dudes to start a B.P.R. NZ chapter.
  2. Never been below the equator, but I've been close.
  3. Never been across the international data line. Oh yeah, I have, twice. I've actually been farther west (or is it east - depends on the frame of reference) than New Zealand. (Check out Kwajalein, Marshall Islands. What was I doing there? You'll never know! But I was haunted by ghosts in the Kwaj Lodge - no joke, jokester!)
  4. Could find a New Zealand sugar mama and never return to New Mexico.
  5. Could learn how to speak the English language - correctly.
  6. Could experience long range international travel - alone. Oh yeah, been there, done that.
  7. Could win the race and 'get' a free tattoo. (Probability is 0.000001, but it's still possible, it's still probable.)
  8. I may win the 'SSWC10 Blogging Competition'. How could The Judd win the Blogging Competition? Because B.P.R. Fan, I'm a winner, my mom says so.
The Cons:
  1. Would experience long range international travel - alone. Been there, done that, boring.
  2. Would find a New Zealand sugar mama and never return to New Mexico.
  3. Flying 6000 miles over the open ocean, that would be the Pacific Ocean.
  4. I'll miss the 24 Hours of Moab. (Yeah, like I care. The foolish promoter / organizer jacked up the solo racer fee to $350. Like he won't go out of business soon.)
  5. I'll miss the Zuni 100. Yeah, that actually sucks. The Gallup dudes / dudettes are bitchin'!
  6. Would participate in 'Judd style' single speed racing - which is dangerous without someone available to haul me off to the emergency room.
  7. I may not be able to find SKA Modus Hoperandi or Dale's Pale Ale. I may HATE New Zealand beer. Just joking, that would never happen.
The Ramifications:
  1. My addiction to titanium may kill me - I won't be able to add to my stockpile of the precious metal in single speed form, at least for the next number of months - like many, many months.
  2. I would spend months paying off the trip, not saving for the real goal - The Colorado Trail Race
  3. Can't enlist killer dudes to start a B.P.R. NZ chapter - at least in person.
Lessons Learned:
  1. I need to quit talking and start making things happen. What do I mean?
    • Need to sell my house and buy and RV
    • Need to quit my job and find a 'consulting' job
    • Need to cut the strings to responsibility 
  2. I need to migrate to a life of isolation and only 'reappear' when major sociological events require my presence - like The Single Speed World Championships.
  3. I need to just do the S*^T and stop talking about the S*^T. No one likes a 'talker'; I don't like 'talkers'.
Summary:
So that's that. I may change my mind again. AND I JUST DID! I may change my mind 25 times prior to Oct 23rd. But the travel rates will increase exponentially after today - thus it probably won't happen. If anyone knows of a 'consulting' job that pays $1 Million / year, let me know. I'm one smart MOFO, I'm worth it - and titanium is expensive. (Ok, I'll take $500,000 / year.)  Until I land that wicked consulting job, I'll continue to play the lotto and hope for the best.

And:
Just in case you made it this far. I'll provide you with another opportunity to watch the following Korn video - the best Korn song ever!


2 comments:

  1. X-confused (1)

    Rhino's reaction.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Confused? Hey, we all need a break once in a while. So, I'll cruise on over to New Zealand and chill out - chill out on my bike, of course. Nothing better to do, I think

    ReplyDelete