The Zuni Mtn 82 +
The BPR Global Summit =
Full on Ludacracy
Background: The Zuni Mtn 82 is the final stop on the New Mexico Endurance Series. AND the Zuni Mtn race serves as the daytime entertainment prior to the end of season Gallup Trails party.
The History: For a number of years The Founding Fathers rolled into the Zuni Mtns, in mid October, with three objectives.
- Ride the coolest trails in New Mexico
- Convene a BPR Supreme Council Meeting, aka, The Founding Fathers discuss the upcoming year.
- Party down with The Gallup freaks
AND it was a great turnout this year. The Founding Father represented BPR NM, Cjell Monē represented BPR Colorado / BPR Roaming Chapter AND 7 hooligans represented BPR AZ. (check the pick below.)
The Global Summit... The Missing Link(s):
When I talk about The Missing Link(s) I'M NOT talking about The Missing Link. I'm talking about the 2 Founding Fathers that were MISSING from The Global Summit. That's right. A Global Summit isn't exactly a Global Summit when:
ONE Founding Father is Kite Boarding on the killer Atlantic waves that come crashing in on his beach front resort in The Keys. (That would be you Lt Col.) And a 2nd Founding Father is rubbing elbows with #18 up in Denver. Anyway. The Founding Father did his best (that would be me) to keep the Hooligans focus on Hooliganism. But The Global Summit v2015 shall mandate a showing of the two Hooligans that define Hooliganism... back of the pack style. Just Say'n
AND FULL DISCLOSURE. You 'evolutionists' couldn't explain your way out of a parking ticket. So don't even try to TELL me that the human race ISN'T infused by alien intelligence. Yeah. What I said.
Ok. Enough Jaw Jacking. Let's get to the details that matter.
This was a big year for BPR representation. We had fast dudes at the Front of the Back of the Pack, we held down the mid to back of the back of the pack. And of course a few of us deviated from the route, due to intense conversations which lead to missed turns. But that's Normal
- Cjell Monē rage'd at the front of the back of the pack for all 82 miles. He dominated the course on his Monē bike (serial number 001) and cruised to a 6th place finish. Not bad for a) not knowing the track, b) dealing with a flat, c) working as a PediCab dude in Austin for ~ 3 to 4 weeks prior to the race.
- Heyduke, aka, The Professor, kept a respectable pace for all 82 miles and finished in 11th. Maybe next time Heyduke's Handlers will remind him that New Mexico is on Daylight Savings. Yeah, when his Handlers remind him that the race starts at 7AM they should really say "Yo HeyDuke, the race starts at 7AM and that's like in 15 minutes. GET YOUR A$$ out of bed and on the bike!"
- The Crew at the Middle of the Back of the Pack. Mad Rhino, Frog, Eff Ugeyez, Krazy Karl took a leisurely roll through the woods and put down a respectable & moderate pace for 42 miles. Those dudes did a bit of sightseeing, had a picnic or two, and probably executed a short mtn nap. I think. Well, let's just say those dudes returned to camp very well rested.
- The Crew WAY BACK in the back of the Pack. Judd, Joey, Deuce roll'd in at the front of the back of the pack, but these dudes executed one wrong turn after another. The 1st wrong turn was due to bad navigation. (Judd & Joey) The other wrong turns were due to... life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness... followed by a two kegs of beer waiting for our arrival at camp. That's just the way it is.
Chaos really doesn't start until Keg(s) enter the equation. (Maybe Kegs ARE the equation. Interesting.) Thanks to Krazy Karl, Back of the Pack Racing roll'd into The Zuni Mtns with two kegs AND 40 cases from 4 Peaks Brewing Company, PHX AZ. (40 cases? Ok, maybe 8 cases.) Yep. That's how we roll. And if The Chaos is complicated by 'foam'. Then... deal with it. Beer is beer. IPA is IPA. And Free IPA is AWESOME.
The Lessons Learned:
- Don't take shots crafted by Heyduke, aka, The Professor, unless you want some organic supplements
- Don't roll into The Zuni Mountains thinking you'll hang beer for beer with Gallup's infamous Dirty Paul, because Dirty Paul will keep IT GOING until sunrise, as long as there is a Keg for him to drain.
- If you need a laugh or two, just wait until the sunset. Eff Ugeyez will bring out his alternate personality.
- BPR Leadership must bring the BPR set of pitchers. Cuz walking around with pitchers of beer may provide opportunities for New Friendships. Maybe. Just thinking out loud.
- Philosofizing is a talent that some of us have. Some more than others. But what we now know is that Judd / Joey / Deuce can AND have solved all the world's problems. It's simple.
- 3 dudes on SS machines + some single track + some beer = solutions to all problems.
- And we'll provide our consultation services, for a price.
Although Back of the Pack roll'd in with two kegs from 4 Peaks Brewery, we didn't exactly drain the two kegs. Dirty Paul took care of one. (The 6.9% RAJ IPA, by the way.) We only put a dent in the other. But our failure to execute proper behavior lead to a new commitment to The Future.
What AM I TALKING ABOUT? I don't know. Just embarrassed that we didn't drain both kegs. AND I ain't the only one. Frog, aka, Frog was not exactly pleased that he was the only dude cut'n up the dance floor late into the night. Frog was not exactly pleased that all the BPR Hooligans hit the hay WAY BEFORE 11PM. So Frog has made it clear that The BPR CREW will meet expectations and face the important challenges head on - like tearing down the dance floor, draining the kegs and representing Ludacracy. I couldn't agree more. We are professionals. We must act like professionals. We must meet expectations. Especially when two kegs are transported in the BPR caravan.
The Dudes & Dudettes:
Back of the Pack always returns to the Zuni Mtn / Gallup area for two simple reasons. The Trails and the Gallup folks. If you ever lose faith in humanity, just take your bike and some beer to The Zuni Mtns. You'll quickly be welcomed into the coolest bike community around. (Unless of course you have an attitude that clashes with biking & booze. But then again, we'll fix your attitude, for you. Free of charge.)
The Global Summit was awesome. It doesn't get much better than Ride'n and Chill'n with The Crew. We intend to hold the 2nd Global Summit next year. Same race, same spot. And we encourage all freaks, all hooligans, all The Crew that hangs at Back of the Pack to make the trek. Global Summits are important. For some reason. And chill'n with The Crew is what WE ARE ABOUT. just say'n. Well The Race within The Race, The Race at the back of the pack, is kinda important too.
OK. Enough Lingo from The Historian. Let's get to pictures:
Because words are boring and pictures aren't. I think.
Just to Mesmerize you:
A Late Birthday Present from the BPR AZ CREW
The Freaks... at the back of the pack
Eff Ugeyez: packs a purple helmet, 1 BPR sock, 5 water bottles, 3 pairs of gloves and a 9mm.
sounds about right
BPR AZ: Mad Rhino at The Helm
The VALUABLE Payload
Deuce hit the keg early. I think
The Monē Shop
Look Closely. Mad Rhino is cranking out some CODE prior to the race
and Mad Rhino tries to justify laptops while Krazy Karl is hauling kegs.
A lookout Point. Cuz this is dangerous country. Dude
Frog taking position for his shift at The Lookout
Frog and Mad Rhino. Looking Out
If you need a pillow, just take a detour in The Zuni Mtns
you'll find a camping pillow on the side of the road... in no time
just a break, for a pic
Mad Rhino had time to snap another one
cuz Eff Ugeyez and Neal are still looking at maps and talking about Purple Helmets
Mad Rhino wants a group PicNic. Krazy Karl wants to dance
Eff Ugeyez just confused himself and forgot what he was say'n
oh wait, Eff Ugeyez just remembered
Frog and Joey need to stop staring at... people
why is Krazy Karl called Krazy
I have no idea
Judd trying to explain Demon-ology, Alien Abductions, and Ghostly interactions to Cjell Monē
Eff Ugeyez forgot what he was say'n. Again
We really have no clue what Eff Ugeyez is say'n
Now we have no clue what Eff Ugeyez is doing
The Morning After:
Frog trying to explain what Eff Ugeyez was doing
The Morning After:
I think we need to work on that keg
The Morning After:
The debrief with Eff Ugeyez
The BPR CREW at The Global Summit
the retro pic from the Cjell Monē film roll